e-devotional

Sorry it has been sparatic postings for the e-devotional! Our pastor is doing a great daily devotional in the Bible-in-a-year format that I would encourage you to check out!

http://www.pastorbens.blogspot.com/

I just started my new job as the host of a luxury homes show here in San Diego. I wondered before I started if I would spend my days in these 10+ million dollar homes and come back to my 2 bedroom apartment and feel...I don't know, discontent, perhaps. Surprisingly I have never been more in love with my family and content with my life. I always would tell God, "If you never give me anything more, I am happy with what I have." Yet deep down inside I knew that was only a partial truth. It wasn't that I wanted something more that was the sinful part, it was the feeling of needing more to be fulfilled.

The day before yesterday we were filming a home that belonged to a Billionaire lawyer right on the La Jolla coast. It took them six years to build the home and they had a nanny for each one of their three children. I could go on for hours about the amenities of this home, but let's just say they had everything both an adult and a child could ever dream of having. When the kids finally got back from school, I thought the first thing they would do is jump in the pool, feed the seals that were right outside on the beach or race to the life size children's beach house. Instead, do you know what entertained them the majority of the time I was there? A paper airplane.

When I watched them playing in the yard with the paper airplane tears started welling up in my eyes. All I have ever wanted after becoming a mom was to give my children what I never had as a child. Material things weren't the only part of that equation, but they were still a part. I have paper airplanes, I thought. I have love, Jesus and paper airplanes...and that is all my children need. I once heard that children spell love T-I-M-E, and it is becoming a reality more and more as I watch Hannah get older and crave mommy and daddy's attention if we have to go to work for the day.

I thought this show would make me want more, but instead it has given me a greater appreciation for what I already have. Paul often mentions in Philippians that he has learned the secret of being content no matter what the circumstances. I often wanted to whisper to Paul, "What's the secret?" I don't know for sure, but I imagine that Paul chose to focus on what he did have rather than what he did not. One thing I do know, is that I have an incredible marriage and phenomenal children and that is worth more to me than all the luxury homes in the world!

I will never forget my first week of my junior year of high school. I had just transferred schools and was very nervous about meeting people and being accepted in a new place. I went from a school of 400 people to a school of 2,000 so I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would I just blend into a large crowd of teenagers or would I find my place? Would the guy I walked past to get to homeroom ever stop barking at me when I walked by? When I tried out for cheerleading (in front of the entire student body and a panel of judges) would I freeze? Would I make friends easily or be a loner my last two years of high school?
I lived with my die-hard republican Father and our golden retriever, Joe, in a nice place on the golf course. One night, in the middle of the night, Joe started barking and growling at the door. My Dad and I ran to the door to find out what the commotion was, my dad in his bathrobe (and a shotgun in hand) and myself in my flannel pj’s. As we opened the door, we heard some loud but muffled chant from the teenagers peeling out in their Jeep Cherokee as they sped off laughing. We looked around the yard and all we saw was WHITE! Yes, toilet paper everywhere–high up in the trees, all over my Dad’s car and strategically scattered across the lawn and the bushes.
I went in my room and cried. I felt unaccepted already, and it was barely even my first week. I wanted to run back to my old stomping ground where I was known and embraced, but I decided to give it a little more time and ignore the pettiness. The next day at school I sat next to a girl named Misha. At one point during class, Misha leaned over and whispered, "So, did you get TP’d last night?"
I turned bright red! How did she know? Was she in on it? Was she one of the bratty teenagers who did this to me? Was it spreading around the whole school that I was the new loser to be picked on? I sheepishly shook my head, embarrassed about my new rejection at Fort Vancouver. To my surprise she replied, "THAT’S AWESOME!!!" I looked at her puzzled. Misha said, "That means your in the cool crowd! Around homecoming, it’s a tradition that the seniors only TP the people they like! Then the next week, the Juniors turn around and do it back to them! Next week it’s our turn.Wanna come?"
I was left perplexed but relieved. The next week I had a great time with some new friends, showing my mutual acceptance in this odd but fun way. My Dad didn’t understand why we couldn’t just take each other to a movie to mark our friendship...I understand his point, it’s a lot less to clean up.
I started thinking this morning about this last year of our lives. It was a very hard, long and challenging year. There were so many times where both Brandon and myself questioned - Is God mad at us? Do we commit some sin we don’t know about to deserve this? Have we been rejected and forgotten about by the Lord? I think it is a natural inclination to think that during hard times that God has abandoned you. Yet I am reminded that the Lord disciplines those He loves (Rev. 3:9), and that we should consider it pure joy whenever we face trials of any kind because he is perfecting our perseverance and faith (James 1:2).
Whether we are being disciplined or tested, it is all because He loves us and wants the best for us. It is his mark of TP on our lives. It feels like rejection, but is really a mark of love and acceptance. It means he cares enough about us not to spoil us. It means he has work to do inside of us that can only be done through hardship. Lessons that can only be learned through a slight sting. Those things leave such a bad taste in our mouth that we never respond in the same way to that situation again. We learn, we grow and our faith is incredibley strengthened through it all.
Bring on the TP!

When we first moved to Oregon, I felt the Lord speaking to me through the book of Daniel. There were several main themes to the life of Daniel and they ministered promises to me during a difficult time. Looking back, I see all of these promises fulfilled and am filled with gratefulness and praise to Him!

The first promise was that God Protects (Dan. 2:18-19, 3:25-26, 6:22. God protected Daniel by giving him the interpretation of the King’s dream so he wouldn’t be killed. He spared him from the fiery furnace, and also supernaturally protected him in the Lions den). As a mother, of course I desire the natural protection over myself and my family, but I also desire spiritual protection. In Oregon, we weren’t surrounded by pastors, men and women of God, anointed guest speakers or even a church body. It was a season where we felt we couldn’t look to anyone else to stir us up spiritually other than ourselves. We were facing depression, tight finances, opposition from family and an uncomfortable season without our belongings or church family. We were holding on to a delayed promise of being in San Diego to be a part of Urban, and at times it felt like that dream was never going to happen. Looking back I see the protection of God upon our family on every side. I see that though sorrow may last for a night, joy came in the morning! I see that as we remained diligent with our finances, he rebuked the devourer for our sake! I see that through times of difficulty with family, he never let the enemy get a foothold in our hearts. The biggest thing I see is that through times of incredible testing of our faith, he proved that he was faithful and that His promises never return void!

The second promise is that God Provides (Dan 2: 48, 5:29, 6:28. He was lavished with many gifts, he was clothed in purple and gold chains, and he prospered after the Lions Den). I knew that the Lord was telling me that when the timing was right, he was going to amply supply more than enough financial provision for our transition. There are many expenses that need to be accounted for in a move, and we did not want to get here and be broke! Here I am going a month without work until my job starts, and we have plenty for the downtime! During seasons of lack, I believe he taught us to use those times as an opportunity to choose to trust him (not our jobs) as our provider!

The last promise that was ministered to me is that God Promotes (Dan. 1:20, 2:48, 5:29. Daniel was 10 times better than any of the others, a high position was given to him to rule over the entire province. He was put in charge of all the wise men and made the 3rd highest ruler in the kingdom). Brandon interviewed for a sales position here in San Diego, and was offered a position in management. Through a divine connection I found out that by transferring through my company to a department store counter I have the ability to make $6/hr more than what I make now! That was God setting me up!

I just want to encourage you during the times of waiting, that waiting really is the hardest part. Use it as an opportunity to exercise your faith muscles and trust God! He protects, provides and promotes!

Is it just me or is it really frustrating to hear about people who are significantly younger than you, but entirely more successful. Maybe some decided to work diligently and stick to a vision, some were at the right place at the right time or others just had the right connections (mom and dad, perhaps). I know at our ten year reunion there will be many people with impressive titles – CEO's, Presidents, Vice Presidents, Doctors, Professors or entrepreneurs. With the reunion being only one year a way, I imagine I will still be just mommy (as if I don't work just as hard as the bigwigs).

Every now and then when I hear those stories, I start to rack my brain thinking of ways I could achieve such success. I range from thinking of inventions to different ways I could work my way up in a company. I am completely focused on doing. What could I DO, I ask myself. That train of thought ends up leading me down a path where I realize I would be spending all of my time working, probably for a company that I care way less about than I do about being with my children and embracing these years. I don't get a bonus, a pat on the back, a yearly raise or a promotion being a mom, but I do get little rewards that make it all worth it. Last night Hannah was sleeping with me (which is a special something that she gets to do when Daddy is gone), and she asked to hold my hand. We held hands and she said, “Mommy, I just love you. Your my best friend.”

She calls me her best friend many times throughout the day, she even insisted that we have necklaces. She holds me accountable for wearing the bright pink and purple heart necklace with BFF written boldly on the front. The cable guy came over today and I forgot I was wearing it...I felt a little silly. Silliness aside, It melts my heart when she says it. I feel so honored. I have the title of “Best Friend” for this special little girl. She may trade me in for Faith and Cara pretty soon, but I am embracing these fleeting years while I still can. I wouldn't trade my BFF necklace for all of the prestigious name plates in the world.

I read today, “To accomplish much, be much. In all cases the doing, to be well-doing, must be the mere unconscious expression of being.” When I focus so much on doing, I miss out on what is important: being. The greatest testimony of my life is not what I do, it is who I am. When I left work in Oregon a woman was crying. I said to her, “I didn't DO anything!” She responded, “It's not what you did, it's who you are. You will be missed dearly!”

There is great contentment, joy and power in delighting in the season and role you are called to right now. Not looking ahead or behind, but rather soaking in this moment and this time of your life. You won't even realize that you are accomplishing great things by just being you. I may have an impressive title someday, but for now Mommy and Best Friend suit me just fine.

In less than a week we are making the biggest move we have ever made in our lives. We are ecstatic about the transition as we prepare and dream for our new lives in San Diego. However, my three year old daughter is a little perplexed. We don't have room in our car for her princess trike, so we had to give it away. She was outgrowing it anyway, so we promised to buy her a new big-girl bike when we get to San Diego. All of her stuff is getting packed into boxes, which she is less than thrilled about. She watches us giving other items in the apartment away and doesn't understand why everything is being shifted around. No matter how much I try to explain to her the excitement of this move, she still has a limited perspective of the here and now.

I keep thinking, “She has no idea.” She has no idea that in less than a week she is going to be having so much fun with her friends Faith and Cara. She has no idea that soon we will be able to spend countless days at the beach and be a drive away from Seaworld and Disneyland. She has no idea that soon we will have the sunshine more often than not. She has no idea that we will have all of our stuff back soon...toys that she has forgotten about and a huge playhouse from pottery barn kids that will seem brand new to her. Sadly all she can see is the stuff in boxes and the promises for this mysterious thing called San Diego that she still thinks means Diego from Dora the Explorer.

I have been picturing in my mind the Lord looking down on us saying the same thing, “She has no idea!” I wonder what blessings are around the corner for me and all I can see is the shifting and the changing. When things are uncomfortable and perplexing for me I believe the Lord is looking down smiling knowing the full picture of what is to come.

I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 2:9 that says, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.”

Some things may need to be purged, and some packed away for a season...but it is only to prepare and make room for the huge blessing that the Lord has coming for you!

Be encouraged!
Mel

I think to some degree it is human nature to want to please people. We all have faced situations where we knew that we were making the right decision, but there were people around us who were critical. There is this part of us that wants to explain it in a million different ways to get them to understand, agree and support. The reality is, sometimes no matter what we say there are people who are set on being critics and no carefully phrased diatribe could change that.

When you feel like your being pulled in a million different directions trying to please those around you, just remember that what really matters is living for an audience of one. As long as you know that you are doing His will, what other people think is irrelevant.

When I committed my life to Christ, I gave up my right to do what I think is a good idea. I also gave up the right to allow other people's opinions or past experiences to dictate my future. There were a lot of ideas that I had (and other people had) about how my future should turn out and I thank God everyday that it turned out His way! We would have never been married if we would have relied on the opinions of others! And our own plans...Brandon and I thought at one point we may never have children! What were we thinking? I thank God for our little surprise, Hannah, who showed us what an incredible blessing that a child could be in our lives. Now our dream is to one day open a dream center for children, to become advocates for children's rights, to adopt from third world countries and become a mother and father to the abused and neglected. Children have now become our passion because we realize how wonderful and valuable they are. We would have never discovered this incredible joy if we had done things our way. God had other plans...and the rhythm method is no method at all! Ha ha!

I learned through all that that He is in complete control. When I feel my life is out of control - it is! And that is exactly how I want it, out of my control and in His. His way always turns out better than what I had in mind or what other people had in mind. Every major decision we have made has been surrounded by critics and looked back on with no regrets! Even moving to Las Vegas was considered a bad idea by those around us. I wouldn't trade those years for the world. We grew, thrived, matured and learned more than we could have ever learned remaining in our Oregon bubble.

The Do's and Don'ts:

Do what is in your heart, but be open to Him redirecting your path.
Don't allow the desire to please people override your desire to please the Lord.
Don't bother yourself trying to win over your critics - it is an endless feat!
Do make every decision for an audience of one!

I would love to hear your stories on similar situations...your critics, your surprises from the Lord, your tough decisions...